


Maybe You Could Save My Soul

by ukulelefoot



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F, gay angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-25 21:41:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7548169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ukulelefoot/pseuds/ukulelefoot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bernie's thoughts starting from the 'gazing at each other lovingly over wine glasses' moment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe You Could Save My Soul

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Biscay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Biscay/gifts).



> I got into Bernie's head late last night and couldn't escape, hence this.

You tear away your gaze, but you can still feel Serena’s eyes boring into you. If you didn’t know better, you’d say that you were having a heart attack. Hopefully the wine will help you to relax a little.

Finally, Serena turns to Jason and you feel slightly less like you’re dying. She keeps glancing at you, though. Probably wondering why you’re being so quiet. Jason is talking about Celia and you smile into your drink

You try to remember what it’s like to be young and in love, but it’s nothing compared with how you feel about Serena. Of course, you should have seen it coming. She’s so your type that it’s almost unbelievable, and when you first heard her voice, yelling down the phone at a mechanic, it made you happier than you been since… Well, since Alex.

Your heart drops at the thought of her. How did something so right go so wrong? She said to go and find her, and you were going to do just that once the divorce was finalised. But then you fell in love a thousand times deeper than before. You don’t know how you’ll tell Alex. That’s a bridge you’ll cross when you finally get together with Serena.

That thought makes you smile. Maybe you’re getting a little ahead of yourself, there. Has she ever even considered a relationship with a woman? Does she want a relationship right now? You know she was with Robbie recently, so perhaps she does, but that was before Jason moved in and before everything got a bit on top of her. At least she’s given up the Deputy CEO work now. That’ll be one less thing for her to worry about. She’s prioritised. And so have you. Yours may not have been the right prioritisation, but it’s done now. And anyway, you know that your fellow ‘embittered ex-wife’ will be there for you when it all goes tits-up again. Just like you’ll be at her side when she needs you.

“Bernie?”

Serena is looking at you expectantly as you mentally shake yourself back into the world.

“Sorry. Away with the fairies,” you say quietly. It’s a feeble cover-up and, by the expression on Serena’s face, a transparent one. “We’re going now.” She stands up and you hope that your eyes don’t give away how much you want her to stay. It’s ridiculous - you’ll see her tomorrow!

You give her a small smile and a nod. She inspects you and you silently beg her not to ask you what’s wrong, like she ordinarily would. But today has been far from ordinary. Today, you’ve felt a shift in her. You’ve seen it. She’s looked at you differently today. More deeply. More intensely. Like she’s trying to work something out. She’s doing it now and you hold her gaze.

“Come on, Auntie Serena!” Jason calls to her from across the pub where, to be fair on him, he’s been waiting extremely patiently. Serena gathers herself and gives you one last look before leaving, squeezing your shoulder as she passes.

You smile contentedly into your almost empty glass of wine. It’s not impossible.


End file.
